The Root of the Issue

September 9, 2011

I have flaws.
 
Please don’t be so surprised. It happens to the best of us. I’m working on improving these imperfections of myself and turns out it’s not as easy as I thought.
 
One of my bigger flaws that I have gotten better about is trying not to let others get to me.
 
I don’t worry too much about what someone thinks of me if it’s superficial but yesterday I was really offended by what a girl said to me and it made me think: Why am I really upset? What is the root of the issue?
 
Yesterday afternoon a client had brought cookies for the office. As I was walking up with everyone I noticed one of the girls cutting a few in half(they were large, but I still wanted a full one). I sarcastically(kinda) said, “why aren’t we getting a full cookie?” Her reply was, “you don’t need a full one.” and proceeded to cut the half in half and give me a 1/4 of the cookie.
 
This made me angry, hurt, and embarrassed. I took my quarter of a cookie and thought about it the remainder of the day. I couldn’t get over how rude she was about it and didn’t understand what she meant. Did she think I was fat, had I done something to offend her previously, did she just want the cookies for herself? All these questions kept popping up in my mind and I left work feeling really bad about myself.
 
When I got home I took Harper on a long walk and used the walk as my time to answer the main question in my head that kept coming to mind. Why am I really upset?
 
Usually when people make comments that have anything to do about my weight, what I eat, or how I look I don’t let it get to me, but I was really taken aback. I don’t usually let my insecurities get the best of me but this time was different. This time I was hurt because somewhere in my head I thought it was true.
 
I’ve been really good about running and working out in general so my fitness isn’t lacking, but I still have some areas that I still can’t seem to fix. I dislike my mid section and my thighs, like most women, and feel like I’ve hit a wall. I go to BodyPump two times a week, run or do some type of cardio five times a week, eat fruits and veggies, etc.  All the things I’m supposed to do and still nothing.
 
I feel defeated in my efforts and that is why I was upset. I wasn’t upset because I was told I only need 1/4 of an awful cookie(maybe it was a blessing because it was nasty). I was upset because she said what I think to myself when I’m feeling insecure.
 
I always get such great compliments from Travis, my friends and family about how proud they are of me, but I have to believe it for myself. I am my biggest critic, but I also need to be my biggest advocate.
 
Sorry for such a Debbie Downer post, but I know that I’m not the only one that can relate to feeling down on themselves and wanted to share.
 
I will leave you with a picture of Harper to cheer you up;)

I love to eat wood. It helps my girlish figure!

 
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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kelly September 9, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Oh hang in there!! First I think it is super mature of you to ask yourself what the real issue was…most people would have just harbored resentment at the other person. Second, 99% of the time when people make mean comments they are just relfecting how they feel about themselves, So maybe she was having a bad day and thought she didn’t a whole cookie and it put her in a bad mood that she took out on you and everyone else. You’re beautiful…don’t let one girl ruin that!

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2 Heather September 9, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Very true, she doesn’t seem like a happy person.

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3 Lee September 9, 2011 at 2:32 pm

I know exactly how you feel. I work out 6 times a week and do not look anything like I’d like.

Having met you in person, I know for a fact that you look great though.

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4 Heather September 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Thanks, Lee. You look great too! We still need to have a doggy play date.

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5 Kelly @foodiefresh September 9, 2011 at 3:03 pm

Oh, how horrible. I would have felt the same way as you, had someone said that to me. It’s really hard not to let things like that get to you because they’re just so underhanded and nasty. The girl who said that to you has some serious issues. Every girl knows it’s not okay to say something like that, no matter what. Don’t be hard on yourself for getting down about it. I don’t know many women who would have just brushed it off.

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6 Heather September 9, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Thank you. Some people don’t think before they speak.

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7 Sierra @ Posh Meets Pavement September 10, 2011 at 1:16 pm

First of all, I applaud the fact that you didn’t give her one swift smack.

Secondly, this is a really honest post that I love, because I think we have all been there. The fact that you can write about it is really healthy. You are doing all the right things, and your body appreciates it. Continue to work at your goals, but don’t get hung up on the shortcomings, focus on the progress and the journey.

Lastly, you look fantastic, keeping doing what your doing and be your biggest fan.

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8 Heather September 10, 2011 at 7:22 pm

Thank you. I did think about a good smack, haha.

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9 Tina @ Faith Fitness Fun September 10, 2011 at 7:53 pm

I get insecure and overanalyze things like that ALL the time. Even if logically I know it’s the other person’s issue, I somehow can’t get past it easily.

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10 Jamie September 10, 2011 at 10:11 pm

Double H. You should have just given her the Heather face and then said, “you better watch your back because now you’re on bootz’s list and she will do one on you!”

I know that no matter what people say to another about how great they think that person looks, it really won’t matter because they’ll just listen to their own thoughts of themselves. I do it every weekend in class when I complain about my fat belly. BUT, let me just say this.. I’ve seen your mid section and I would DIE to have a stomach as nice as yours! I know you work really hard for your hot bod, so I AM proud of you! I just wish your strength, determination, and consistancy could rub off on me! <3 you !!!

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11 Allie September 12, 2011 at 11:07 am

Oh jeez! I would have taken TWO cookies just to spite her ;)

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12 Christine @ Merf In Progress September 13, 2011 at 10:16 am

For some people, being unkind seems to come naturally. I tend to internalize those types of comments as well. But mostly, I try to remember not to make others feel the same way — watch what I say, remember to be kind and thoughtful. Easier said than done sometimes, especially with girls like that.

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